Saint Thorsten of Hull, was assigned DIRECTLY by God, to measure the amount of lust and avarice that dwelt in the hearts of each and very Man. (And when we say Man, we of course include Woman, right?)
However, St. Thorsten liked to keep up with the other angels and archangels via Social Media. He posted at least once every third millennium and had over 60 followers in the Heavenly Sphere alone. He was impartial and forgiving of everyone- some would say to a fault.
He had even reconnected with his old classmate, Lucifer, who regaled Thorsten with all manner of humorous narratives and actually some pretty nasty negative shit too. Lucifer and Thorsten would message each other several times a day.
But because he strove so relentlessly to be informative and inquisitive, to LIKE and to BE LIKED, Saint Thorsten did not see that Lucifer, who had always had problems with Substance Abuse, was setting a trap for him and all the other angels in their GROUP!!! While Thorsten and his friends were chatting and messaging, posting and commenting, adding or blocking this Angel or that Demon, Lucifer was investing great sums of money in Russian Teenage Anal Porn, and tirelessly promoting it to all mankind.
Soon enough, each and every soul belonged to Lucifer, who then Unfriended Thorsten!
God became very angry with Thorsten and took away Thorsten’s internet privileges until Thorsten won back the souls of the damned- which he like never did! He just got a new profile and signed on at the library.