We are the sum total of all the television we have watched. Ever.

My own personal viewing history goes back to 1952, when my family bought our first television set. I’ve been at this much longer than you. Therefore? I am more than you. Because I have seen more than you.

 

We needs must all be monitored. Carefully.

We all need to be monitored. Carefully.

 

When I come home at night? I go into that warm, healing, special place, where I am accepted. Included. Jokes are shared with me. I’m in on the secret. I know what’s SHE is really hiding from, what HE is actually planning to do. I am briefed, informed. I am in the loop.

 

Photographers also create images. But who cares???

Photographers also create images. But who cares???

 

Because of this inclusion, I am better than you. The shows you miss, but I am there to watch, move me closer to omniscience.

This could be a heavy burden but I’ve learned from the best precisely how to confront stressful situations- head on. With style. And wit. All I have to do is be alert. The answers will come from having a good heart, showing concern for my fellow man. And driving a nice car. Dressing right. And being physically attractive. Young. Economically independent.

This explains why choosing what we watch, the series we follow, makes the only authentic difference in the world. Right now, I’m into Criminal Minds. And that show about guys who live in the swamp and have long beards.

 

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